|
www.who-are-you.us |
|
Beginning to Search |
|
I was raised well, and happily by two loving parents who adopted me when I was 29 days old. They were the only family I had known. But is that just? What is identity? As science dissects and defines our genetics, more and more is discovered about the influence of heredity. Now I am over 30 years old. I have been a statutory adult for more than a dozen years; I am a registered voter, a citizen of the United States of America, where "All men are created equal". So why is it that my equality ended when I was created? I am denied, BY LAW, from knowing my original, true identity. Some states have opened their Adoption records allowing adoptees to discover their past, good or bad, the truth is open to them. At the very least, everyone should be entitled to his or her original birth certificates. This does not mean that a birth family member would ever be found; names change, and some names are extremely common. However, as it is, many adoptees like myself are stuck with fake birth certificates in which our adoptive parents' names replace the birth parent's name, and most laughably, a paper pushing bureaucrat working for the state who has never even seen me, is credited as the delivering physician. Is it any wonder that when a person’s identity is treated by our society with such indifference, that adoptees sometimes feel like non-persons and can suffer from inferiority complexes and low self-esteem? Some adoptees do not want to know about the parent(s) who they feel, abandoned them, while some want to personally thank the birthparent for choosing to create life instead of aborting it. I'm part of the latter group. However the very rigid laws in Florida where my adoption took place, disallows me the opportunity to “legally” reunite, unless it is through their inefficient, and lackluster registry system. It is illegal for me to know who my birth parents are. My only option after a failed petition with the Palm Beach County Courthouse is to hire a private investigator. But why should I have to pay a private investigator or a professional search firm like "Kinsolving", $3,000.00 or more, to acquire information of my origins, through possibly illegal means? Do non-adoptees have to? Why should I? Oh that's right, some would say that my “real” parents didn't want me and that I should be grateful to have any parents at all. I did not agree to this contract. That decision was made for me. I guess the legislators in Florida believe that only the rich adoptees who can get away with breaking laws and hiring investigators, should be able to find their answers. Someone, I read, once equated the disregard of adoptees, and their treatment as second rate citizens, to that of slaves, in terms of their rights. After all, we are bought and sold. My birth certificate is nothing but a deed of ownership given to my parents upon purchase. At least I can vote, right? Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to be alive and to have been raised by a great Mom and Dad, who (thankfully) support my search. Unfortunately, there are many other adoptees out there who are not as fortunate. Even though they desire answers—they are either held back by oppressive adoptive parents, or by their own fear of hurting their adoptive parents. This makes our organized movement—a slow one. My adoptive parents agreed that as an adult I should have full and UNCENSORED access to my government held documents, not least of which includes my medical history if my birthfamily wishes to share that information with me. Does my family have a history of heart disease? Cancer? Mental illness? My right to know about MYSELF should be more important than anyone's right to secrecy. It is not fair or just for someone else's alleged right to privacy to infringe or effect my individual, moral right to true identity. After all, I existed before I was adopted. I did have another name. I have a right to know that information, but not according to the law. Some states assign intermediaries to search for birth parents and ask them if they would consent to the release of information. Florida will only do this if the adoptee is in dire need due to a medical emergency. As a result some birth families do not even know that they are sought. Registries have been set up, some free, and some which charge money, but these only work if both parties register. Most of the time, either the birthparent or the adoptee doesn’t even know the registries exist. States such as Florida will disseminate what they term "Non-Identifying Information" upon request if the adoption occurred through certain agencies. To complicate matters, there are quite a few shady, illegal, black-market adoptions with no paper trails. Today, babies that are abandoned through “Safe Havens” and “Baby Moses” laws at hospitals and fire stations—also enter the adoption system with no paper trail. Adoptees that are products of these types of adoptions would not benefit from open, unsealed records because they have no records. Non-Identifying Information is usually a series of censored, nebulous descriptions about the birth family taken from the interviews of the birth mother prior to signing the release for adoption. It contains no names, no exact dates, and no locations, but serves to whet an adoptee's appetite for the complete truth. Some support groups exist for adoptees, as well as birth parents, and some will help with a search, but these groups are limited to the resources afforded them. People have been arrested and vigorously prosecuted for stealing records on behalf of others. However, support groups also exist for those dealing with the anxiety of pounding their head against the brick wall of sealed records in adoption. Unfortunately, there are also a few shysters out there who are looking to make a buck. Adoptees and birthparents must also be careful about whom they contract or pay for assistance. There are those who say that legislators wish to keep adoptions closed because they are pressured by the adoption agencies who fear that open adoptions would dissuade expectant mothers from giving up their child for adoption; which may translate in fewer adoptions—meaning less cash in the adoption broker’s pockets. I believe sealed adoption records still exist and continue to be created due to a consumer mentality. The baby brokers of today realize many adoptive parents do not wish to have cumbersome birthfamily members traipsing into their lives at will; -so sealed records are a customer service tool. Adoptive parents are the customers, birthfamiles are the manufacturers and adoptees are the merchandise. Is it any wonder that with the now more popular domestic method of "open" adoption, many adoptive parents prefer to go abroad and procure a baby from a third world country. Overseas, it is much more unlikely that a birthmother or birthfather will ever be able to show up and “reclaim” their child. When will the fear, lies and secrets end? I began my search at age 15, checking out books from the library about the stigma of adoption, the “adopted self”, and the quest for identity. I made what meager inquiries that a 15-year-old boy could. I fantasized that I could just go into a library, and check an archive from the date of my birth and somehow, magically find the identity of my birthparents. This of course was not true. At 18, I had the “bright” idea of going to the hospital of my birth—Good Samaritan Hospital in West Palm Beach. I thought, “I am an adult. I will simply ask the people at the hospital for my medical records”. I walked up to the records-lady and stated my purpose. “Name of Mother”? She asked. I told her I did not have that information. She laughed and said, “you don’t know your own mother’s name”? I said “no”, and I felt my blood begin to boil and tears well up in my eyes. I again asked her to simply reference any baby boy born on September 2, 1969—surely there were not very many. She explained that the files were not organized that way, that she had to have the patient’s name—and the patient was my mother. At this point I noticed other nurses and records employees staring at me as if I were an alien. Gritting my teeth, I thanked her for trying and walked away. When I entered the elevator, I couldn’t help but start crying. I was so very frustrated and felt so lost. In the years that followed, I got married and took a short-lived job as a private investigator for verifying insurance claims. As a result I learned some skills regarding the search of public records, but I eventually hit another dead end. The problem is that no matter how much I knew about navigating through court records, there was nothing available to me that would lead me to my answers. Those answers were sealed. I had registered with the State of Florida as an adoptee seeking reunion, and I requested what information they would provide. One day that information showed up—but what I learned from it would only fuel my curiosity even more... |
Reasons for My Quest |
|
All Content is ©1998-2005 R & R Media Productions |
|
This page was created and first published on the internet in 1998. In June of 2000 I lost the Mother I had known all my life:
|
|
ADOPTION RECORD
SEALED BY LAW |
|
09-02-1969 |
|
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE |