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| 1956 Seoul, Korea (My first picture taken) | Mother and father after they were married |
It was Sunday June 15, 1950, a typical lazy Sunday morning. Even the soldiers were on their weekend break. But my mother was suddenly awakened by the sound of non-stop gunfire. She went outside to see what was going on. She then saw thousands upon thousands of North Korean soldiers marching in the street, marching down south. Following each group of soldiers were groups of oxen, which they used as their food supply. A neighbor, who as it turned out was a North Korean spy, ran outside into the street to greet the soldiers, and was waving the North Korean flag. The neighbor told my Mother that the North was invading to free the South Korean people. My mother, pale and frightened, ran into the house and told my father that war had broke out.
My family’s lives were in danger, because we were all young children.Upon seeing the soldiers, my mother says in that instant, her milk dried up from the shock. My twin and I were only 3 months old, having been born on February 15, 1950. She no longer can nurse me and my twin sister. My sister, Sarah, was one and half years old at the time. My other sister, Grace, was 9 years old. My older brother Paul was 11 years old and my half-sister, Jung-Soon, was 16 years old.
My family began preparations to escape to the south, as millions of others were trying to do. My parents gathered as many of their belongings as possible in a cart. After packing up the cart, and gathering up all us children, they left. They traveled for about 5 hours, surrounded by thousands of other fleeing people, and with countless bodies littering the way. With little food and no shelter, my parents then concluded that they would never be able to survive a long trek with 6 children, 3 of them infants. My father said that if the family was going to die, they might as well die at home, and not in the street. So we were going back home, the only ones traveling north. Once we came home, Paul and Grace began to cry and plead with my parents. They wanted us to run, like everyone else is doing. After we are back at home, my father told my 16 yrs old sister to run. “Run wherever you think it’s safe. Run as far south as you can.”
Once North Korean occupied Seoul, they started eliminate people who communist considered rich or intelligent. They would come and knock on the door and call out the name of the person. They will say very politely “We need to talk to you just few minute.” That will be the last time family member would see him. Most of them were killed once they were led away. They killed doctors, teachers or any relatives of South Korean military person or government. Some of them they kidnapped to North Korea. In just short time they killed many of my father's fellow doctors. North Korean demanded people to work for them. If they do, they will receive food portion. My father couldn’t work because he fell ill right after war broke out, and he got weaker and weaker. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise because later when South Korean, backed with UN reclaimed Seoul, South Korean army would kill everybody who cooperates with North Korean Army. Mother couldn’t work because she had me and my twin sister and rest of the children. Food ran out almost immediately, and she had no milk to feed us. In search of food, she even open pillow which was stuffed with barely skin. Mom boiled barely skin and gave us the watery part, and feed rest of family with barely skin. One time North Korean soldiers came to draft my mother to work, like make sand bags. He excused mother when he saw all these babies lying on the floor, unable to move because they were too weak from starvation. I guess even communist has heart sometimes. When General Macarthur was coming through Inchun, two North Korean soldier came to our home and dragged my father one of each soldier holding my father from both side because he was too week to move. They usually either kill them or kidnap them to North Korea after they take them from home, but they told my father to turn around and go home after they force my father walk about 2 miles. My father turned around thinking they will shoot him. He kept walking and waiting to be shoot, but they never shoot him. They were too busy to retreat. On top of that, some times before General Macarthur land in Inchun, two North Korean soldiers hid about 200lbs of rice (probably from root) in our house upstairs and told my father if they touch any of the rice, we would all get killed. Even we are almost starving to death, my parents never dare even look at that rice bag. As I said before, we lived right across from the house of police chief that North Korean used as their head Quarter. I guess they were going to sell it and make some extra money. But when General McArthur landed in Inchun, they had to leave that precious rice and retreat. You can guess what happen to that rice!. My parents thought it was God who handed that food for us.
As the war going on, mother struggle to feed all children but we were so staved she can even see my intestine through my abdomen. Before the war is over, my twin sister couldn’t hang on any more and died. While I was growing up, I couldn’t ask mother anything about my twin sister because mother always broke down and cry. Early on, I learned not to ask my parents about my twin sister anymore. It was really shocking when I was going through security clearance in Korea to come to America, I found out my parents never filed a death certificate of my twin sister. I think they couldn’t do it because it was just too painful. Right before I left Korea, I filed a death certificate for my twin sister 26yrs after she died. That was the only thing I did something for my twin sister. In a way, I was glad to leave Korea because I had so many painful memory in there. Little did I know there will be many more pain waiting for me.
My mother was born in Sunchun in Pyungyang bukdoi 11-3-1913. She was youngest of five children. Her father owns the land, and lives with income from land. All her relative lives in the same area. It was the time when if women couldn’t bear a son for her husband, he will bring another woman to bear a son and first wife have to live with the other women with humiliation. One of her cousin was born as a third girl, and her grandmother sent her away to another women to nurse her so her mother can have a baby, possibly boy sooner. Her cousin refuse to accept her natural mother when they brought her back at the age six and she died within a year from some disease. My mother believes she died from broken heart because she missed her nursing mom so bad. Like women is a property rather than human. And women work day after day to cook and do house chore. My mother remembers when she was about eight years old, they had a big party going on at the house. She was playing around and went to one of her aunt’s quarter and found her aunt was wailing, pulling her hair out and with all her finger nail bleeding from scratching the wall. Later she found out that her uncle decided he needs another wife so she can bear son for him.
My mother was determined not to have a same fate as the other women of her time, so she pursued her parents to send her school. She had to wake up 4am everyday and walk one hour to catch her train to go elementary school. After elementary school, she went to Pyung Yang to go high school there. Her uncle had mine and was making good money. He sent all his children and nephews and my mother, only girl in the bunch because even though she was a girl, she was always top of the school, to Japan to study. My mother told me she owes her education to her uncle because her uncle believed in her. In Japan she strive, because she was beautiful, and smart, and she master Japanese so perfect, they didn't know she was Korean unless she told them. She loved to study, and love her academic world. As in Korea, she was top of her class, and eventually she obtained teaching position in that school. Also she was in love with one of Japanese doctor who arranged for mother to hide to avoid Japanese "comfort women” draft.
My mother didn't want to come back to Korea, but her parents told her there's a emergency with family. When she came back to Korea, her family arranged my mother to marry to my father because of “comfort women” in Japan policy. At that time Japanese Government draft unmarried Korean women and send them to war zone to provide sex to Japanese soldier. Every family who has a daughter would grip anybody to marry their daughter to avoid draft. Some girls would marry old widower just to avoid draft. It was such an ugly time for Korean women.
My father was born in Hwang haedo and he was the only son and he had four sisters. His father used own wine factory but after he was converted, he made living by merchant. The reason he sold his wine factory was because he converted to Christian after he met missionary from China. He was searching for God, even before he met missionary. He used pack several days meal and go up to mountain and pray. He thought there has to be more than Buda. When he met missionary he said "This is the God I was looking for" and immediately accept Christ. I think he must be the first Christian in Korea. It was around 1900 AD. My father first become a school teacher but, he study on his own and later became a medical doctor. My father had several sisters but they all died except two during Typhoid epidemic and this incident inspired him to become a doctor. He had two sisters left and one sister went women’s university and older one didn’t even learn how to read, because women didn’t go school at that time.
This is the story of my older aunt. She was very shy and quiet person. She was married to a man who wasn’t educated but very gentle nature. They were living with our family and Grandfather. Because my father had medical clinic, my aunt cook for whole family and her husband take care of household. He was very talented man; and when he assist my father for surgery and etc. he do lot better than people who had formal education. This household was run by my Grandfather who was very devout Christian. He was almost obsessed with doctrine and demands all the family member follows. Nobody can work on Sabbath day, not allow anything but absolute necessity. And the entire family member went to church, except my older aunt. My mother said because she didn’t know how to read bible she didn’t want to go. My Grandfather passed away in his sleep when he was 80yrs old. One day, my older aunt wasn’t coming out from her room to work as usual. My mom went to her worrying she may be sick. When she knocked my aunt’s door, she said to my mother she has something important to tell my mother. My aunt told my mother “You are going church every Sunday, but you don’t understand anything about God!” She was an ordinary house wife who didn't even know how to write or read until yesterday, and overnight, she had knowledge of the bible like a bible scholars. She would teach people who would visit her about Gospel and God. Rumor spread, and our house would packed with people include ministers and priests. When people asked her how she changed overnight, her reply was” My father’s light is shining upon me” It was truly miracle that many people witnessed. She said one day, God told her to go to North Korea to spread Gospel there. It was the time North and South Korea was divided and people were trying to escape from North to South Korea. Nobody was allowed to cross the boarder and anybody who attempt to cross would be killed from the guard. She later said when she crossed the border,the guard simply turned their head as if they didn’t see her nor her husband and child. I often think of St. Joseph when I think of her husband. Can you imagine that your obedient illiterate wife changed overnight, and was preaching and debating with all religious scholars? And finally ask to go communist territory because God told her to go even though there was very good chance to be killed? My mother told me he immediately packed their belongings and follow her. What a faith! Later people who escape from North Korea told to my parents that there were many miracles that happened from my aunt. They called her ”God’s servant” or "miracle women" even though communist don’t believe in God. And when the Korean War broke out, Even North Korean Soldier would run to her place because mysteriously, her house would never be hit by bomb.
I was born on Feb 15, 1950. My house was a two story house with back yard with deep well and huge tree. I was born of the twin girls. But my twin sister died during Korean War. I don’t have that much of memory of war or my twin sister. When my father found out he was going to have twin, he wanted boy and have boys name ready. When we, two girls were born, he named us with the boy’s name he prepared. I had half sisters, three sisters and a brother. My father was married twice, one ran away and the other died in child birth. My half sister was already grown up and I saw her seldom. I remember she didn’t like me as much as she loves Lynn. I don’t have that much of memory of war itself. Because I was born right before the war, my mother told me I didn’t get milk after 3mom. and lived on very little rice juice. I almost died from malnutrition like my twin sister. I miss her all my life especially I never had close relationship with my sisters. I had this general feeling of not being loved compare with my siblings (maybe middle child syndrome). I remember lots of beggar and crazy people running around the street begging food right after war. And I would see many times, group of leprosy patients come around begging for food or money. There were many Gi’s who would give Gum or candy to children. We used go to palace called Secret Garden to play when I was about 4 years old.. My two sisters and my big sister would go together. One day we went to play and while we were there, there came this typhoon called Sarah. In the panic, we tried to run home. I fell and hit my stomach on the street curve and I still remember that terrible pain, terrifying orange and black sky and the wind. When we got home we saw many people who were injured were carried to our house because my father had clinic at the first floor. We saw many sick or injured and all this hush voice when somebody dies My mom worked as midwife while my father had clinic. As we grow we become more and more short of money because my father wasn’t interest about making money. Instead, he was searching for philosophy, religion, and many times he would treat people free if they don’t have money. When I went to elementary school first time, I had to dress at the roof top because I was the only one who had new dress. According to my mother, my father didn’t want me to go school because he believed I had some spiritual power that might cloud with intellect. We used eat barley rice because we couldn’t afford regular rice. That’s why my mother still can’t throw away any left over rice even it gets rotted. They will cook rice only for me if it’s my birthday. I went to Kyodong elementary school and Chang dug junior and senior girl’s high school. I went Seoul National University for nursing school. It wasn’t what I want to study but I couldn’t afford tuition for the study I want. When I was fifteen years old, we lost house and rent room in very bad neighborhood. We had to store lots of stuff to some far away storage place. Later somebody broke in, and we lost most of my father’s antiques collection from that place. My father sold our house because we couldn’t afford that house anymore. It was so embarrassing to move into such a slum when we are supposed to doctor’s family. This was the time we couldn’t pay tuition in high school and called name in front of the class mates. I used hide somewhere to avoid this humiliation. I was hit by car while crossing street with Lynn while mom went Japan to search for some oppurtunity from the old classmates. Father went to east coast to work which was close to the boarder with North Korea. During this time,Sarah and me and Lynn lived alone. Many times we didn’t have heat or food. I remember we were trying to sleep just to forget the cold and hunger. and we move to another place to live because mother got sick from charcoal gas (CO2). This room we rent was in the next building of some sort of factory, and that place was very noise with constant metal grinding sound. Lynn had first nervous breakdown at this place. Later, we move to some new house Paul rent for us, but father got stroke and become paralyzed. And then we had this flood that flushed us to Paul’s apartment where he lives with Sunjoo and her mom. It was luxurious place, but Sunjoo’s mom made sure we know it is her place. She brought lots of high class call girls to the place every night. During this time we are supported by Paul. Mom would send us (me and Lynn) to Paul every week to ask him money to live. We would hate that job with passion. After I dropped out of nursing school twice, I had to go back because I had no other choice. Steve came back from Viet Nam when I was in sophmore, and we started dating. He was living by himself and was going school at Seoul National University. Father passed away after three year’s in bed from stroke. He was only 68yrs old. He was very loving sweet person who was genius. He used fill big pan with water and teach us stars with the reflextion of the sky. II was in nursing school when father passed away. Paul’s marriage eventually broke up. Paul and rest of family got kicked out of the place, and we rent room close to my doctor sister’s house. Later we moved to her clinic, and live there and help her to run clinic.
Luckily, I was living in the nursing school dorm and got scholarship which paid most of the tuition. Family Albums